"Time to start believing in God again"

Lol. Except not really. I'm just gonna put the warning out now for my mother, and various aunts that read this, I'm sure some of the stuff I'm going to write will make you panic, but rest assured, I'm safe back in my bed at the homebase. So I cheated death like 2349839572093480239539458 times, as long as I made it back, right? I'm just kidding. Sorta.

So this weekend eleven of us shipped off to Coban, Guatemala to go on a tour of the waterfalls and caves out there. I drugged myself up on a mad dose of dramamine after packing in record time. The bus ride to Coban was supposed to take about five hours, but ours ended up being a torturous seven. No, you didn't read it wrong. And seriously the drivers here are nuts. I will never again complain about drivers in Massachusetts. Jokes, I probably will, but now I know what real crazy is. This explains the title of this post. These were the last words spoken before the bus pulled out of the little bus station in Guate City. Kat and I are really positive people. It didn't help that not long after we started going Kat makes the lovely comment "I should have told my mom I loved her." So reassuring. I mean I guess the bus ride wasn't that bad, but we do drive on super curvy roads on the sides of mountains. So, just kidding, it was that bad. Plus there was no air conditioning on the bus so it was crazy hot and humid. We ended up getting stuck in traffic for awhile which really slowed down our journey, therefore, extending it a couple hours. Eventually it got dark outside and then we all started to realize how unprepared we all were. woops. We asked someone who works on the bus to tell us when our stop was but eventually everybody but one other drunk guy were chilling on the bus and I think the movie Taken all flashed into our minds for some brief moments. But fortunately, Guatemala didn't get eleven new sex slaves, and we arrived at our hostel at around 9:30. We ate dinner in our hotel and then went to bed so we could wake up early for our tour at 8.

Some views from the bus

A lot of the houses in rural Guat look like this gem

Seriously this country is gorg

I felt pretty crappy when we woke up and didn't really feel up to sitting in a car for three more hours to get to the falls, but I sucked it up anyways and just chugged down a giant bottle of water and more dramamine, which made me feel much better. The ride to the actual tour definitely raised my blood pressure and probably took a couple years off my life, but hey, when in Guatemala, right? I would compare the ride to a really extended drive up Mt. Washington, ya know, basically on the edge of a really skinny, curvy road. After a couple hours the real road ended and we continued on a bumpy dirt road. Welcome to the jungle! The views from the van were absolutely breathtaking though. Guatemala is a beautiful country for sure. As if the adventure wasn't crazy enough, when it was time to actually start hiking we soon realized this was no easy jaunt through the woods. I'm pretty sure this mountain hike was the most physically rigorous experience of my life. Not even exaggerating. Our tour guide informed us before we got started that there were five hundred and something stairs to the top of the mountain. The sign that read "dificil" was no joke.

look how happy and not sweaty we look....just wait

so. many. stairs.

I learned some valuable lessons about myself this weekend, one being that I'm megs out of shape. Oh just kidding, Nike just called and wants to sponsor me. ha. I'd like to say that I conquered that mountain, but I'm pretty sure it was the other way around. I'm not sure at what point I felt like I was going to faint, die, and puke, but I thought all three of those things were going to happen at some point during that climb up la montaña. Kat, Ann, and I all kind of stuck together as we struggled. I feel like struggled isn't even a strong enough word for yesterday. It didn't really help that it was probably 85 degrees outside with 10345809385093485093845% humidity. By the time we got halfway up we were all drenched in sweat and choking on deet. It was a really special blend of smells. One of our tour guides stayed behind with us weaklings and tried to reassure us that this was normal. I have a feeling we offered him some quality entertainment for the day. Just three white girls struggling to get up the mountain he climbs once a day six times a week. No big deal. By the time we reached the top, because yes we did reach it, I FELT LIKE A CHAMP. I was five million times grosser than I was an hourish ago but hey, I climbed a damn mountain in Guatemala. We took a few group shots and then sat down to eat lunch. The thought of eating anything made me want to vom, so I opted for just enjoying the views of the water below.

taking a much needed break. please note that I just poured water over my head. 

group shot

REACHED THE TOP

   Now I can say I climbed a mountain in the rain forest of Guatemala. Hell yes. I thought about just crawling up and dying a few hundred steps into the process, BUT I DID IT. I'm basically a star athlete now. After breaking for lunch we made the decently steep decent to the water behind me in the last picture. At this point I couldn't wait to just jump in. I think I may have been on fire a little bit. Or a lot. I'm really feeling that hike today. All of our legs started shaking on the way down, but luckily all eleven of us made it down to the water alive. The water was so crystal clear and felt super great after being drenched in sweat, deet, and sunscreen for so long (yes mom, I wore my sunscreen and repellent).

 I look thrilled.

Añadir leyenda

this made everything worth it

Our guides basically took us from pool to pool and we either had to jump in our slide down some rock slides. Think the rivers in the White Mountains only a million times more beautiful and awesome. I definitely scraped my butt on one of the slides, but the scrapes were definitely worth it. I mean look at that water. LOOK AT IT. I kept having to remind myself that it was real life. Si, es verdad. I'm in love.

My morning was pretty uneventful. Half of us took the early 9am bus while the others chilled and ate breakfast. The ride back was significantly better; air conditioned bus, a quick four hours, no people standing in the aisle. What a difference five dollars makes. Alright, I'm peacing out early and going to bed. I'm exhausted, but clean now because I finally showered after three days of disgustingness. woot.